By Susan Granger
Special to WestportNow
According to Fandango, “Wonder Woman” is the summer’s most anticipated movie. It’s the fourth — and best — in DC’s Extended Universe, following “Man of Steel,” “Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice” and “Suicide Squad.”
I grew up reading “Wonder Woman” comics and watched TVF’s kitschy Lynda Carter, so I’ve been eagerly awaiting Princess Diana’s stand-alone superhero movie. Now she’s here!
On Themyscira, a secret island gifted to the Amazons by Zeus, defiant Diana, daughter of Queen Hippolyta (Connie Nielsen), has been trained as a warrior by her aunt, badass General Antiope (Robin Wright), to battle Ares, the God of War.
During the First World War in 1918, American pilot Steve Trevor’s (Chris Pine) plane is shot down near idyllic Themyscira. Rescuing him, Diana gets her first glimpse of a man.
Bound by the Lasso of Truth, Steve confesses he’s on a spy mission to thwart maniacal Gen. Ludendorff (Danny Huston) and his ‘poisoner,’ Dr. Isabel Maru (Elena Anaya), from waging chemical warfare.
Exuding both force and compassion, Diana sails off with charming Steve to London, where his dependable secretary, Etta Candy (Lucy Davis), helps outfit her to blend in with the populace.
With support from Britain’s Sir Patrick (David Thewlis), they travel to war-torn Belgium to broker an armistice, accompanied by three cronies: multilingual Sameer (Said Taghmaoui), former sniper Charlie (Ewen Bremner) and The Chief (Eugene Brave Rock).
Created in 1941 as a feminist icon by William Moulton Marston, Wonder Woman’s origin story is scripted by Allan Heinberg (DC’s “Wonder Woman” comic-book writer, 2006-7) with Zack Snyder and Jason Fuchs.
Adroitly directed by Patty Jenkins (“Monster”), it has humor and heart, along with awesome action — thanks to Matthew Jensen’s cinematography, Damon Caro’s stunts and Bill Westenhofer’s VFX.
My only quibble: Gal Gadot can’t act. She’s strong and sexy, statuesque and stunning. Physically perfect! But her expressionless line readings are rote. Perhaps that’s not too important in a comic-book movie.
On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Wonder Woman” is an entertaining, empowering 9 — with no post-credit scenes.
The raunchy, big-screen riff on TV’s ‘90s action-comedy “Baywatch” kicks off the silly summer season with tryouts for the elite team of tanned, toned lifeguards that patrol Emerald Beach.
Under the watchful eye of no-nonsense Mitch Buchannon (Dwayne Johnson), the wannabees are narrowed down to pudgy Ronnie Greenbaum (Jon Bass), sassy Summer Quinn (Alexandra Daddario) and cocky Matt Brody (Zac Efron), a disgraced bad boy who thinks his two Olympic gold medals should make him a shoo-in.
Meanwhile, Mitch realizes there’s a drug smuggler in their midst, and he suspects slinky, scheming Victoria Leeds (Bollywood star Priyanka Chopra), who just opened the posh Huntley Club and seems determined to acquire all the nearby coastal real estate.
Since the local policeman (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II) won’t take him seriously, Mitch realizes it’s up to him and his squad to preserve the sanctity of their beachfront.
Working from Damian Shannon and Mark Swift’s smartass screenplay, director Seth Gordon (“Identity Thief,” “Horrible Bosses”) relies on lots of campy running in slow motion, and it’s as cheeky as the zippered, red spandex swimsuits worn by Mitch’s sexy cohorts C.J. Parker (model Kelly Rohrbach) and Stephanie Holden (Ilfenesh Hadera).
Showing a snarky streak, Mitch steadfastly refuses to refer to Matt by name, dismissively calling him One Direction, N’Sync, Bieber and High School Musical — as their chiseled ‘bro’ chemistry clicks. Less amusing are the grossed-out male genitalia jokes.
There are a couple of exciting sea-rescue sequences, plus nostalgic cameos by TV stars David Hasselhoff and Pamela Anderson.
Full Disclosure: My son, Don Granger, is one of the executive producers.
On the Granger Gauge, “Baywatch” breezes in with a slyly splashy 6. Skip the sunscreen and stay for the post-credit bloopers.
“Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales” is the fifth installment in the floundering franchise which has become a lengthy commercial for the newly revised ‘ride’ at Disney theme parks.
The journey revolves around Henry Turner (Brenton Thwaites), son of Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann, who is determined to find a legendary artifact known as Poseidon’s Trident, which can lift the curse that has trapped his father’s Flying Dutchman on the bottom of the sea.
That involves convincing rapidly decomposing Spanish Capt. Salazar (Javier Bardem), who drowned in the Devil’s Triangle, to spare his life so he can locate down-on-his-luck Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp), a quest that also intrigues Sparrow’s old nemesis, cranky Capt. Hector Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush).
In the meantime, corset-clad Carina Smyth (Kaya Scodelario) is a fair ‘n’ feisty damsel who is accused of witchcraft because of her knowledge of astronomy and horology. Apparently, her father’s diary with its celestial chart holds the key to finding that magical Trident.
So Henry and Carina team up with swaggering, staggering, perpetually soused buccaneer Jack Sparrow whose beloved Black Pearl is still secreted inside a bottle.
Norwegian directors Joachim Ronning and Espen Sandberg (“Kon-Tiki”) are saddled with Jeff Nathanson’s muddled script, filled with incoherent curses and contrived genealogy, so they’re forced to rely on special effects and makeup to propel the seafaring action.
Along with all-too-brief glimpses of Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley, there’s a pointless cameo by Paul McCartney and a post-credit scene that hints at more adventures to come.
On the Granger Gauge, “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales” sails off-course with a soggy 4. It’s a surreal shipwreck — Argh!
(Editor’s Note: Westport resident Susan Granger grew up in Hollywood, studied journalism with Pierre Salinger at Mills College, and graduated from the University of Pennsylvania with highest honors in journalism. In addition to writing for newspapers and magazines, she has been on radio/television as an anchorwoman and movie/drama critic for many years. See her reviews at www.susangranger.com.)
