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Sunday, November 01, 2015

Thank You, Westport

To the Editor:

Dear Westport,

Thank you for the crane downtown!  LOVE. It makes us look progressive and imposing, like a moving-forward kind of town.

One question: what does it do? Anything?

If not, I totally get it. For instance, the strip of parking spots next to the river in Parker Harding - you know, the ones we all covet when the lot is full and we just stopped by for a quick Starbuck’s and we’ve circled the lot for 20 minutes and there’s no place to park our car except for the 15 empty, beckoning spots over which a “No Parking Permit Only” lords? The spots which, after roughly 12 calls to Town Hall and Main Street businesses, no one is able to offer the remotest clue about how to obtain said permit?  Yes, those.

Those spots and the crane are like Chanel: even though you’ll never directly benefit from their existence, at least you get to look at it.  Like, when you dreamed you’d wear Chanel for your Rehearsal Dinner and ended up wearing a $5 suit your Mom bought at an outlet the week before. Okay, maybe that’s not relevant but it feels good to vent.

Also, thank you for the Anti-Blight Ordinance. A lot of squalid heroin dens have met their demise, thanks to that law. Now, can that ordinance extend to any sort of visual pollution or just to buildings? For instance, I often find myself gaping at the shredded, misguided “designer” togs masquerading as teen clothing in various store windows. Can these, by law, be destroyed? Or will my efforts be illegal?

Well, I guess that’s it for now. I do have concerns about idling my car three feet from outdoor diners at Acqua while I wait for a parking spot so I can grab a Starbucks, but I think that’s more of 1) a free-will thing, and 2) nothing to thank you for.

Westport, you’re the best. Please keep being you!

Robin Chung


Posted 11/01/15 at 05:20 PM  Permalink


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